new...

I think I need to retitle this blog. And use it. My life is getting out of control...

so yea

I really need to update this thing but now is not the time. I suck as blogs...

Answers... maybe

So I had my doctor's appointment today. He said that my ovaries look great as does my lining and there are no cysts present. The lack of a period and weight gain is officially not being caused by endometriosis or pcos. Thank God. My doctor had the lab take some blood so they could run a test on my thyroids. If that's what ends up being wrong with me, I can deal with it. I just have to keep a healthy lifestyle like I have been and I'll be put on medicine to help my thyroids. Every single one of my problems can be found in a thyroid problem. When I told Mom about it, she informed me that our family has a history of thyroid problems. Amazing that she's just telling me now after 6 months of no periods and 40 pounds of weight gain.

We'll find out next Thursday about the lab.

Starting over.

Sometimes you slip and fall.

That's what I've done.

It's time to start again.

Busting out of the shell

I have made a step forward. Tonight, I am heading to Nashville to celebrate a good friend's birthday. It has taken everything in my not to bail, but I can't do it. She means too much to me and I will NOT disappoint her. I have to push myself. I can't let my weight keep me chained behind this computer. I will never learn to love myself that way.

PS - I wish I could have been a gymnast.

still here

I'm still here. I'm back up to 218. Nothing will keep the weight off. Still no period. Still no positive pregnancy test. I have bad cramps in the top of my left leg and my stomach feels fluttery all the time. Something's wrong. I can feel it. My insurance starts on March 1st so I'm going to try to get into SOME doctor as soon as I can.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland .. or at least a cold one...

So Brian and I have been working hard this week. We've been eating right and working out every day. He's been walking to and from work almost every day which is 8 miles round trip. He packs his backpack and walks. We've also been going to the gym every night and I've been walking with my mom and sister at the mall. Every little bit counts right? It definitely does...

I'm down to 212.2. In December, at my doctor's appointment, I was 218. I was at 215.4 at the beginning of the week. For a first week, that's pretty good in my opinion. Brian's down 5.5 pounds from the start of the week. We're going to keep it up.

Today, we took an impromptu trip down to Land Between the Lakes to go hiking. We had been planning to just to go Audubon State Park to just hike the trails, but Brian came home today from work and suggested LBTL so we looked some stuff up and took off, praying the rain cleared. After getting maps from the visitor center, we took about a 5 mile hike which is pretty good for it being my first one and we both had on packs. It didn't rain at all while we were out and the trails weren't really all that bad. Some pretty big mud pits and the hills were slick, but we packed for that. When we got back to the car and cleaned up, I took Brian to this place called Patti's Settlement in Grand Rivers. I went there once with an ex's family years ago and still had it on my mind. That place is amazing. I really thought Brian would enjoy it. And he did :) Very well deserved home cooked meal after a very hard week. And the best 2 inch porkchops ever :)

So tomorrow starts a new week of working my butt off. Literally. I'm taking it day by day. Week by week. It's all I can do.